Thursday, January 13, 2011

This is just going to be a blog of feelings! I want this to be a journal of everything, so feelings also will be added.
I am going to be perfectly honest and say I feel like I want to quit trying! No matter what I do there is always a consequence of some sort.
Last night I was being a mom and standing up for one of my children and all I got was nasty text messages. The one thing that was said that really hurt the most was I need to act like an adult.  Now to me, being a mom is acting like an adult! The gospel and family are more important to me than anything else. Work, earthly things etc. , are some of things that come last on my list.  I don't understand how people can be so hurtful. I cried a lot last night. I'm seriously tired of worrying about everyone elses feelings, and walking on eggshells that when I finally put my foot down, it blows up! I am so not perfect I will never be, but what I said wasn't bad. Yes, I was upset and a WHOLE lot of other things went through my head to say or right, but I didn't.
Here is the kicker, I will be 40 and I am being told how to do things and to act like an adult from someone in their 20s. And while I am at it, another someone in their early 20s has accused me of being immature! I think being mature and being an adult IS standing up for your family in times of need!!!!

Now with all that venting done, I have to say that they are young and when they have children and their children are being hurt by others they will do the same things! They haven't gotten to that part of their lives yet. I am working on trying to feel better about them. It will take some time because of all the things that have been said besides the ones I wrote down. I don't like tohurt others, and sometimes I do not knowing I did, but I feel bad about it.   I hope that one day these young women will be able to think before speaking in such a harsh manner.  I really cared about them and maybe that is why it hurt me so deeply. I never ever want or wanted to hurt them. But I will stand up for my family if needs be!

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